Divorce

   I’ll be getting married in June of 2013, and I’m not taking on the challenge lightly. The pastor at church last weekend said that marriage is about 80% as good as it was when you were dating. It makes sense if you think about it. When you’re dating, you and your significant other are trying to impress one another. After your “I do’s” are said, you’ve got the cat in the bag. Not only do you stop trying to impress one another but you now live together. Living with someone brings on a number of challenges in and of itself. We’re bound to get irritated with those we live with, so why would a spouse be any exception? I know that I’m very naïve in the realm of marriage and there are a million things left that I haven’t even considered, but I’m doing the best I can.

   I’ve thought about all of these things and I know that I still want to go through with it. When considering marriage, one should also think about divorce. I tell myself that it will never happen to me, and I truly believe it. I hope to honor my vows until the day I die. But when I hear about so many marriages ending I have to wonder why they didn’t make it through to the end. Were their convictions not strong enough at the beginning? Did they not work hard enough during? Or did things just not work and there was nothing that could be done?

   According to the National Vital Statistics Report, 6.8 people for every 1,000 got married in the U.S. in 2009. During that same year, 3.4 of every 1,000 were divorced. That doesn’t mean that of the people that got married that year half of them were divorced. But the rate tells us that for every two couples that tied the knot in 2009, there was a couple that got divorced. As an engaged individual, that is an alarming number. So what are some reasons people break off marriages?

   A study done by psychologists Paul R. Amato and Denise Previti found that the leading cause of divorce is infidelity. They also found several other factors that led couples to split up: incompatibility, growing apart, personality clashes, and lack of communication. In my opinion, most of these issues can and should be sorted out during the dating period before the decision to get married is made.

   All in all, I don’t look down on people that get divorced. It is far from my place to judge. I just think it is an important thing to consider before committing to another person. My marriage will start off well, and I feel that with hard work, determination, and a commitment to communication it will stay incredible. I hope for and look forward to the day that I can celebrate my sixtieth wedding anniversary. If I can make it to eighty-three, that is.